I really try to post something at least every week or so but currently I have not posted in a little bit longer than that.
This week I was in Brisbane and being alone alot of feelings bubbled up to the surface, and I wanted to be candid and share those feelings.
My trip to Brisbane was a little spontaneous, I booked it three days before I left. I felt like I needed a trip because I was bored, I’m in Australia and who knows when I will be back and I needed some me time.
But than my first day in Brisbane, I did not want to be by myself, I was hit with this wave of loneliness, which is what I think I was feeling all last week I just did not know it.
It’s hard to describe but recently even surrounded by friends I have been lonely and I can’t even really tell you why. I think I am feeling a little conflicted about heading home and with all these feelings + exams coming up I am overthinking everything. I feel almost stuck in my own mind both when I with people and alone. And to be honest it is not the best feeling.
Usually I would combat overthinking by staying busy, but I think because I have not been busy I’ve been feeling a bit worse than usual. I do not really want to say I’ve been sad but I almost have for what feels like no reason. That is what makes me more frustrated it’s like my heart and my brain are not feeling the same things and I try to tell my brain to be happy and sometimes it just does not want to. Feeling this way is a bit overwhelming and for me often makes it hard for me to be creative, I have a hard time writing and vlogging.
After returning from Brisbane, I am feeling a lot better and heres hoping the feeling will stay. But I also know that if it does not everything will still be ok.