These last few months, I’ve been kind of down; I’ve not been writing or doing any creative, been napping lots, not been feeling like exercising. Just generally feeling lazy and depressed. I’ve been focusing on being stuck at home, unable to go to Australia, and I was making being stuck at home into this absolutely horrible thing when really it is not.
I was telling myself, oh, you’re depressed, your life sucks; it’s ok just to nap everyday cause it’s out of your control. One of the worst things I was doing to myself was not eating properly and then telling myself it was out of my control; I was tired or didn’t feel well. I was using not feeling well as an excuse to justify things to myself.
I was sitting around, feeling sorry for myself, and things were getting worse. A couple of days ago, I realized I can’t change the current situation I’m in (because with a global pandemic, nothing is simple currently), but I can change my attitude. It’s hard to explain this kind of epiphany moment in writing, but I feel just different enough to build on it.
This week, I’ve gone running after this epiphany moment, made more effort with local friends, and wrote this blog post. All these things seem so simple in some ways, but I was struggling to do them, and with this little change in mindset, I hope I can help improve my overall mental health.
I am in no way trying to say it’s easy to snap out of depression. However, my depression stems from my anxiety, and I am lucky not to have it bad. For me, this means I am kind of in control of when it gets worse because I am letting myself sink deeper versus people who are already deeper due to circumstances more out of their control. Figuring this stuff out is something we have to do individually, but I encourage anyone reading this who is struggling to take a minute to reevaluate what they can control in their life. I think we have to do when struggling is first acknowledge; we are not in our best headspace, and when we recognize this, it’s easy to then use our understanding as an excuse.
Yes, I am annoyed I’m not in Australia. But again, repeatedly thinking, oh just because I’m not there has to mean being where I am sucks was not at all helpful to my mental health really though the only reason Ottawa sucks is that it’s not Australia, and that’s not a good reason.
To end this post, I want to remind everyone I am here if anyone ever needs to talk! Reach out to me in the comments or on my Instagram, and I’m always happy to listen, and right now, I would love to talk to people in similar situations.