A big idea when it comes to New Years resolutions is the idea of cutting toxic people out of your life. This year I was on the other side of this, and for that reason when it comes to this resolution I want to urge you to think twice.
Earlier this year someone I considered a very good friend cut me out of their life because I was “toxic”, and it affected me like crazy.
It basically all started when a fight with another mutual friend brought forward that I was sometimes difficult to be around. This was in the spring and we spent the summer apart. I assumed things would get back to normal in the fall because we loved each other flaws and all. Instead in the fall every effort I made to hangout with her she shut me down. I eventually got the hint and stopped asking and just like that we were no longer friends.
What bothered me the most was I could tell she had a problem with me but she didn’t have the respect for me to tell me. I wish she had. I was confused and started to question a lot about who I was.
I am very insecure that everyone finds me annoying because I know I am a tiny bit. Maybe annoying isn’t the best word but I have a bit of an agressive personality which I know is not for everyone. Some people I do not click with and that is ok. We can’t expect everyone to love us. I know I am not perfect but there is parts of my personality that I know make me unique.
This insecurity is what made this experience so much worse for me. Anytime anything small happened, like if a dumbass boy didn’t want to hangout with me, all I could think about was if someone I considered a best friend could only put up with me for 2 years how could anyone ever put up with me for longer. It was always an irrational thought but I couldn’t help it. Everytime I saw her out it uspet me, it was hard.
This is my side of the story and hers could be completely different. I don’t know one hundred percent why she wanted to stop being friends with me because she never told me.
I am in no way trying to attack this friend. You never know what anyone else is going through and we only can really see life through our own eyes.
And that is why I encourage you to think twice about basically ghosting a best friend. If you have already given them chances to change tell them and slowly distance yourself. If they never ask you to hangout stop asking them to hangout. But just maybe try and consider how leaving a toxic friendship is going to affect them, and think twice about why you are leaving the friendship.
Welcome to my World 