Recently a friend and I were out at a bar. We were approached by a sleazy older man offering to buy us drinks, he approached us commenting on how nice and fun we looked. He then proceeded to get incredibly creepy. I must admit, I am slightly ashamed that when being offered free drinks I am content to let men like him talk to me in a demeaning way. As soon as it got uncomfortable we voiced our discomfort and he left. Reflecting on the situation we probably should not have engaged with him at all.
But, we were enticed by the idea of free drinks, and this is the bigger problem. First, men think that by offering free drinks they are allowed to act demeaning or should get something in return. But on the other hand, I think it is inappropriate for girls to expect and to flirt for free drinks, when we want to be labelled as independent and “strong”. I am definitely not guilt free of this personally this is something I need to change about myself.
As women we can not expect men to buy us drinks because of socially grounded gender stereotypes. I don’t think it is right for women to wear revealing outfits with the intention of getting men’s attention for personal benefit and then turn around and complain about the attention.
I am not the kind of girl who lets people of any gender walk all over me or treat me unfairly. But I am the kind of girl who likes free drinks and reflecting on myself this is something I need to change. But I do not think I am the only girl guilty of this type of behaviour. As a society if women want to be more respected, many of us need to change the way we act while out at bars and clubs.
Yes 100 % you never owe anyone anything. And in no way does man buying you a drink change this. But in my opinion ladies we can not be teases and flirts and expect respect in the situation.
To just reiterate this is my personal opinion and no way mean to offend anyone. I am completely open to civil discussion on the topic in the comments!
2 thoughts on “Ladies, We can’t have the best of both worlds”
totally get what your saying here! agree with you on it too! xox