I am not ashamed to admit that I at points in my life have been that girl who is obsessed with finding a boyfriend. I’ve been that girl that bitterly scrolled through pictures of happy couples on Instagram being mad I was not in a relationship. I am happy now to say that I am no longer that girl.
Lately, when I see a happy couple on Instagram I am happy for them and do not feel mad that they have something I don’t. A reason for this new found outlook is that I am starting to become a lot more appreciative of what I do have. I have also started to realize that I am not a relationship kind of person and that’s ok. I have come to love myself and realize that one day someone will love me exactly the way I am. Accepting myself has allowed me to form the mentality that I am good at being single and there is nothing wrong with that.
A big part of why I want a relationship so bad is because I have never had one, and I get very worried that I will mess up the first one I’m in just because the experience will scare me.
I have started to realize that if that happens to me in my mid-twenties that is ok and everyone lives life at different speed. I am confident that even if my romantic life is still a bit of shit-show like it is now when I am 25 other parts of my life will be much more together.
I guess I now believe in myself and I know I do not need to be attached to someone to be successful. And success is not measured by how perfect your current relationship status is.
I’ve also always been very independent in that I don’t like being tied down, but I also hate doing things alone. I used to have this idea that a boyfriend would be someone who I would always hang out with, but I have realized that most people are very busy and a boyfriend is not an automatic best friend.
I am very lucky that I have great friends and they have been a big part of me accepting myself. I wish I could film our late nights’ talk because I think we are hilarious and wise beyond our years. The thing that’s great about us though if we are all different. One of my friends who was in a long-term relationship is single now too and is learning to be single but in a different way from myself who has always been single.
Exploring how we can be the best single version of ourselves together I think I’ve had more fun than if I had a boyfriend. Sorry boys.
I hope reading this post can get people thinking about why they personally get so stressed about not being in a relationship. We are all going to live life differently and I know it is hard to watch people who seem to have perfect lives and not be upset. But just think of all the amazing things you have accomplished and will accomplish.